Another Kind of Dawn
by Seraphly
Summary: “Are you ready, my love?” Edward asked me in his sweet, velvet voice. I’m sure I should have been nervous, petrified even, but I wasn’t. There wasn’t a trace of fear in my body... A version of Breaking Dawn.
1. Her Hand

**[Forward: **

**Don't worry, I doubt any other forward will be this long.**

**I am currently looking for a proof reader for up coming chapters, if you have any interest, please private message me. I know I might have some technical/grammar issues with this piece. I did try, but sometimes I reread mistakes as if they weren't there. I'm sure everyone's been there.**

**This is my version of Breaking Dawn. Right now it's rated pretty much PG. There's nothing too descriptive (in terms of sexuality), but upcoming chapters will gear towards an adult crowd (M, for possible leMon ), but if you read how I pace this, you'll have a while. The narrative is first person Bella, and I'm pretty sure that I am going to stick with her. I have read a lot of comments from Meyer saying how people never get Edward right, and I would be heartbroken to fail her like that. **

**I would appreciate any and all comments. I even enjoy negative, if it's constructive. I am actually a poetry, not a prose writer, so help in this department would be very much loved. If you do want to read my poetry, or talk to me outside of I have a Gaiaonline account-- Username: Seraphly. I normally do not leave the OP/L or W/C.**

**Disclaimer: Of course I would never dream of claiming the creation of the two most brilliant characters ever dreamed. This honour belongs to the amazingly talented Stephenie Meyer. Thank you for your dreams Stephenie. Without them, my own would never be as vivid.**

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**Another Kind of Dawn**

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I sat in the passenger seat of Edward's Volvo, idly staring at the ring nestled around my fourth finger. I pretending to feign interest in its beauty, and to be fair, it was beautiful. Unfortunately my mind was elsewhere, but at the same time nowhere. All I could do is concentrate on thinking about nothing. I traced my right index finger along the band and stared intently on the web of delicate diamonds. Outside the world was passing by slowly, and it made me smile. Next to me was Edward, driving at he would call a dreadful pace—the speed limit. He was giving me time to calm my nerves. When I finally let my left hand fall, he swiftly picked it up and gave my hand a tender, cold kiss. I felt all the anxieties wash out of me.

"Are you ready, my love?" Edward asked me, in a sweet velvet voice, and in this moment there wasn't a trace of fear in my body. I wasn't afraid of Charlie's response, and with Edward by my side I knew I could handle it. I answered him honestly, telling him that I wasn't afraid of what Charlie might say, because he was going to be with me.

Edward kissed my hand once more and looked at me, flashing his brilliant crooked smile. My heart couldn't help but skip a beat. "I'll always be with you," Edward promised.

"Forever?" I asked teasingly.

"For eternity" He swore, never taking his eyes off me. I was going to chastise him for not watching the road, but I knew that he'd laugh at me, and also I knew that even if by some freak accident we did crash, and I did die, I would be the happiest person in heaven.

He continued to drive for a minute before he spoke again. This time his tone was serious and it startled me. Ever since we got back to his house, and I told him that I wanted to tell Charlie of our engagement he's been up on a cloud, positively untouchable. "Bella," he started, stern, "I need you to promise—no," he fumbled. Very rarely did he stumble over his words. I was partially alarmed, but even more curious. I let him continue without interruption; I was practicing for Charlie's lecture and fit that I knew was impending. It took him another second to regain his thoughts, which was extraordinarily long for Edward.

"Bella," he restated, "I would like to speak to your father alone," he finally stated. It wasn't really a question, but nor was it a demand. It was a longing desire, and I could see it in his eyes. I knew was he was trying to tell me. I felt abashed that I had not seen this coming.

"You want to ask Charles permission?" I asked, slightly concerned, "what if he says no?" It started to make my heart race, and I was positive that Edward could hear it. He could. He chuckled to himself, and gave my hand a possessive squeeze.

"It's not really the answer that matters, Bella," he answered, reassuringly. "I am going to marry you with or without your father's blessing. I just need to do this. It's tradition, and I have to let him know that I am going to love and take care of you more than any other person could ever. But either way love, you are not getting out of this wedding. You agreed, and by mid August you will be my wife," he finished, turning the car off. I look out the window to see the same, old familiar house. I didn't realize we were at my father's house already.

Unbuckling the seat strap I turned to the right. Edward already had the door open and his hand out. I internally commented on his lightning quick reflexes, glad that he was unable to read my mind. I placed my hand in his and not so gracefully glided out the Volvo. He supported my body and we walked towards the front door. The light from the living room was on, and I could see the flickers of the television through the curtain. It was a typical evening.

With Edward's palm in my palm, and his fingers laced through mine, I had nothing but courage when I traipsed up the steps and opened the front door.

"Hey Dad," I called out to him front inside the door. He was where I thought he'd be, in his recliner stationed directly in front of the TV. It sounded like a football game was on, but honestly I had no idea. He mumbled a hello from a mouthful of popcorn. The bowl in front of him was full, and the game was in full swing. I figured I'd wait until some sort of intermission before bothering him with something so trivial. His only daughter announcing her engagement and impending marriage to a century old vampire, nothing to be concerned about. The idea made me giggle slightly. I sat down at the kitchen table, and Edward followed. He stood behind me, running his fingers through my hair, placing them finally against my neck. His mere touch sent electricity all the way to my toes.

When I looked up to see Edward however, he was not completely calm. Well, he was always calm, but there was a stir behind his eyes. I twisted around to look up at him intensely, "Edward?" I implored. He looked back at me, and I thought I felt him push the stir behind his eyes back so I couldn't see. When I stared at his golden eyes, I only saw love.

"Yes, love?" He asked, tracing his fingers along my jaw. Instead of answering back with words, I lifted my hand and felt my fingers along his arm, as far as I could reach and back again. He bent down and kissed me on the cheek, jaw line, and then finally the crook of my neck. There he stayed for an intense and brilliant moment.

"Evening," said a dark, overly familiar voice. I looked over startled, to see my father with an empty bowl in his hand. I almost chuckled to think of the popcorn that was probably now crammed into the crevices of the recliner just so he could find an excuse to come to the kitchen. I kept the giggle stifled however and settled for smiling at him. He didn't move from a very stationary position. His eyes glowered at Edward and me. Edward slowly raised his body back up, keeping his hand of my shoulder for comfort.

"Good evening Charlie," Edward answered happily, "how's the game?" he asked casually.

"Fatal," Charlie responded, his fingers gripping the bowl so hard his knuckles started to go white. I knew that Charlie was trying to give Edward and I a subtle hint. Edward knew even more than I, but he merely laughed.

"I know, the Packers aren't doing very well this season. They lost the last game 50-15, didn't they?" He continued the conversation lightly, "by the sounds of it, they aren't going to pull this one through either, why put yourself through the torture," he stated, now motioning to the chair. Oh no. He was going to start the conversation. I reminded myself that I was indeed ready to tell Charlie, followed by the reminder that I wasn't even going to him at all. Edward was, and he wanted to.

Charlie sighed and sat down on the chair opposite of Edward and me. My eyes were so intent on my father that I didn't realize that Edward had sat down in between both of us. At first, I thought Edward was going to break the silence. I had decided that I wasn't going to ruin his traditions by blowing up at my father, and so far I had been keeping very good at doing that. Charlie looked at us both sternly, but at the same time curiously, "what shenanigans have you two been getting into?" Charlie attempted to ask lightly, but I could tell that he was troubled. The entire atmosphere was starting to feel tense.

"Nothing dangerous," Edward replied casually, but I could tell that his mind was reeling. He looked intently on Charlie, "Actually Sir," Edward continued, "We—well—I, have come to talk to you." He said finally. Even though he could gauge every response by the thoughts of my father, I could tell that he was nervous, and it made me somewhat elated to know that he wasn't steel, as close as he may be.

"No." Charlie said. He didn't even wait for the question. Although Edward may be the mind reader, there was no doubt Charlie didn't know what we were doing here, tonight. I looked at Edward, who was still continuing to look directly into the eyes of my father. It made me extremely proud of my brave—fiancée? There was a part of me that was still very much uncomfortable with that word. At the moment, I didn't even want to think about the other nasty four-letter word.

Edward looked imploringly upon my father, ready to speak up again, but my father got there first. "Answer me these questions first," my father stated. This was something I didn't expect. Edward simply nodded, not taking his eyes off Charlie. "Why did you leave that September?" He demanded. I knew that he was going to bring up September, I just never expected my father to give Edward a chance. I also wanted to know what Edward would say. I knew the raw truth was out of the question, and the sugar coated version would leave to many questions.

"My father took the position in LA, I had no choice but to go back then." He stated, taking an unnecessary breath, and continued, "I'm sure you're now wondering why I never called, wrote or had any contact with Bella after. It was the worst mistake of my existence. I thought Bella would hurt yes, but I never imagined her to become so broken. At the time, I thought a clean break would allow her to continue her life without me, without guilt. I was foolish, but I will never forget. I will never make that mistake again." He promised Charlie, and in return Charlie almost nodded. I could almost feel like he trusted everything Edward told him.

At first I thought Edward was done being interrogated, and then I remember my father putting a "s" at the end of his last comment.

"What's her favourite colour?" he asked.

"Today, it's undoubtedly topaz. In about four days, it will be jet black." He answered confidently. My father raised an eyebrow to me, and I nodded with a smile.

"Last book she read?" Charlie continued.

"Wuthering Heights"

"Favourite number?"

"13" he answered quickly.

"Favourite animal?"

"Canines" Edward retorted loosely.

"Favourite sexual position?" My father asked, trying to rope Edward into something. Thinking that asking him random questions quickly, would confuse Edward, and give Charlie some power back. I wanted to scream and bury my head in shame. My cheeks went bright red and I became immediately flustered. I was incredibly glad it wasn't me in interrogation.

"I wouldn't know" Edward responded honestly, and with complete conviction. "I would never dream of touching Bella inappropriately. Not until I—" Edward was abruptly cut off by my father.

"Bella, Edward," he said to us both, sternly. "This isn't the 1920's. If you two are racing to get married so you can have…sex," he started to ramble, "it's irresponsible. I would rather think that you two are being 'safe' then to tie yourselves together like this." He looked directly at me, "I don't want to see you twenty years old, married with a baby. I want you to have your youth. Enjoy being young. What's the rush kids? Go to school, finish college and start your career. After, if you still love each other, I will fully support you. I just can't. Not now."

This time it was my time. I got up and looked at Edward for a moment. His eyes cautioned me not to do anything rash, but I didn't need any advice or coaxing. I was completely calm. I started to move towards my father, he looked apprehensive. I remember my father telling me that I was incredibly non-whiney for a teenager, but the truth was, now I wasn't really a teenager. I was an adult, and it was time for me to make my own, adult choices.

When I was finally face to face with father I just stared at him for a moment. He was older than he used to be, somewhat worn. I noticed flecks of grey in his hair, and well as the hairline starting to fade a little more back into his forehead. I knew I could get mad or frustrated at my father, because I knew there wasn't much time left for us to be a father and a daughter to each other. I needed him to know a few things before I left him.

"Dad," I said, taking his hand into mine and holding it tightly. "I need you to know that I love you so very much. There isn't a moment of regret for me spending the past two years here. I wish I had gotten to know you sooner, but I am thankful that I got to know you while I was still young enough for your influence to have an effect on me." I almost wanted to bite back tears, but I knew I had to stay strong. I wanted everything to be coherent. "I need you to know that you have helped me become a strong, brave and loyal woman, and I know that I'll take your guidance and love with me wherever I go." My hands started to shake, and I knew I was starting to crack. I felt Edward's cold palm on my lower back, trying to cool my body down. It did help a little.

Instead of continuing to talk to my father, I just put my arms around him. I felt his warm arms fold around my frame and squeeze me with an unusual amount of ferocity. He knew he was letting his daughter go, and his body and mind was fighting it with every ounce. "I'm going to marry Edward Cullen, dad" I said finally, "not because I want to… have sex with him, and not because I'm young and foolish. I love him, and I want to be in his life forever. I'm going to be. Promise me you'll think about it. Being there, that is." I looked at my father and his eyes locked with mine. He looked broken and disheveled.

"I don't know if I can," he answered finally, honestly. I merely nodded. My hand still gripped his, but I refused to shed a tear. I needed him to know I was strong and loving, but determined.

"I understand Dad. You have two months to think about, but it would mean the entire world to me, if you were by my side on my wedding day. I'm only going to have one, I promise you." I said, softly letting go of his hand. He still looked at me.

"Only two months?" he said, somewhat startled. I merely nodded.

"Before school starts, so we can continue our life together—and focus on school without a wedding to think about. Just think about it Dad. That's all I'm asking." I said finally, dropping my eye lock with Charlie and moving back into my seat across the table. Edward took my hand, and gave me a look of approval. It made me glow inside. We all sat in silence for a bit, but I wasn't trying to fight the tension. I wanted to make sure that every last memory Charlie had of me was that of an impeccably brought up young woman. It wasn't for my sake, but I was sure that I was going to appreciate it later.

"I'm going to bed Bella," Charlie said, getting up and moving slowly passed me. He seemed older right now, older than he's ever been. He patted my head once, and said softly, "perhaps Renée." I didn't have an idea what he meant by that. I knew that Edward did, and we'd have a lot to talk about later, but for now I was content to sit in silence.

After Charlie closed the door to his room I crawled into Edward's lap and buried my face in his shirt. Part of me wanted to cry, and I knew he would be there the entire time, holding me. The other part of me was so proud. I felt brave and mature. I felt like an adult ready to actually become a wife to a husband, instead of a teenage girl with her boyfriend. Edward leaned his head into me and smelled my hair, his arms still tightly wound around my body, bracing and protecting me. "You were perfect, my love" he whispered.

We stayed like that for a while, and Edward never complained of being uncomfortable. I still didn't let the tears come, not while we were in the kitchen, and not where my father could hear. "Do you have to leave soon?" I asked. He normally left for a bit, and came back after Charlie was in a deep sleep. I didn't want my father to think that we were going to ignore his house rules about curfew, just because we were getting married. I knew we weren't married yet.

Edward smiled at me, "he's fast asleep" he answered. "He certainly was exhausted, and you look it as well." I merely nodded. There was no point in lying. It wasn't a long conversation, but it certainly was tiring. Every time I looked into my father's eyes, I felt like I was saying goodbye. I wanted to cry, and fall asleep in Edward's cold, icy body.

I barely noticed when he stood up, cradling me in his arms, and walked swiftly up the stairs. I was laid out across my bed before I knew I was in my room. Sleep was already starting to consume me, but I fought it with tenacity. I could faintly make out Edward by my dresser, taking out a set of silky blue pajamas. He brought them back to me.

"When did you get these?" he asked, eyebrow raised. They camisole and pants were the exact shade of blue that Edward loved.

"Alice bought them for me a while ago. I guess I forgot about them" I said casually, slightly incoherently. Sleep was definitely setting in, but I knew Edward was right to get me to change. I never slept well when my thick daytime clothes gave me less contact with Edward. I liked feeling as much of him as possible. I grabbed the pajamas and sat up. Edward excused himself to go to my desk, picking up a book and examined it loosely. He was purposely turned away from me. I gave him an audible giggle.

I changed as quickly as possible, so I could get back into his perfect, cold arms. When he turned around and saw my night set, his eyes lit up. He was beside me in a heartbeat, which was good because mine momentarily stopped. "You are the most beautiful creature in this world." He whispered, kissing all along my collarbone and up to my ear. The he stopped, and nestled his face and nose into the crook of my neck, breathing me in. The smell of his breath and the sheer closeness of him staggered my breathing.

"Can we get married now?" I asked shamelessly, and Edward gave a low chuckle.

"Now, now my stunning fiancée" I repressed a shudder and continued to stare at him, "it was your idea to let Alice do the wedding. We could have very well already gone and came back from Vegas. Now you just have to deal with the consequences" he stated a low velvety voice. "Now sleep, my love. Tomorrow is another big day." He moved down beside me to cradle me in his arms. I fit perfectly nestled, wrapped under his chiseled frame, but I was still frustrated. I laughed to myself how sometimes I wish this marriage couldn't come fast enough.

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I'm hoping for Chapter II to be release as early as tomorrow night. Like I said before, if there are any people out there that like to proofread, please feel free to message me.

All comments and reviews to be taken with the utmost seriousness. I appreciate all feedback. Thank you in advance.


	2. Saying Good Morning, but Really Goodbye

**Foward: **_Chapter II, BPOV._

I am dying for R&R. I haven't got a review yet, and I am thinking that I am failing dismally. I love seeing that people are reading, but I am going insane without reviews.

**Disclaimer:** I do not dream of claiming the works of Twilight and its characters for myself. That right belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer. I write only to keep myself from tearing at the seams waiting for Meyer's _Breaking Dawn._

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Another Kind of Dawn 

Chapter 2

That night I know I did not sleep well at all, even with Edward holding me tightly and lulling me back into sleep. When I woke up, my bed was empty except for me. I felt immediately apprehensive. I gazed out the window and only two vehicles were in the driveway, neither belonged to Edward. I clumsily rolled out of my bed and walked up to my small dresser. On it, a small beautifully written note from Edward.

_Good morning my angelic fiancée,_ I tried hard not to cringe at the word. It did look beautiful in his script—I could almost smile. _I know you didn't sleep well, and I wish I could have stayed by your side the entire night, but your father decided to call in late to work. He wants to talk to you alone. I know he's only worried about you, and he's seen this coming. He's not angry, I promise. I will be by as soon as he leaves. I love you, Edward._ He finished. I grimaced at the thought of taking to Charlie without Edward by my side, calming me.

It was with the speed of a dying sloth that I grabbed a change of clothes, and my toiletries off my desk. I knew the quicker I saw him, the faster that all this would be over, but I couldn't bear to bring myself to him any faster. I opened the door to my bedroom and called out a melancholy good morning to my father, and was surprised when he answered, "good morning" instead of the usual grunt.

Inside the bathroom, I turned on the shower before getting in. The hot water cannot be rushed, and I was in no mood for a cold shock of water. The entire time washing up in the shower, I chose not to think about what to say to my dad, but instead I recollected all the memories I had of him since I moved here. When I got out, I quickly toweled off, and put on the clean clothes I set on the toilet: brown khaki pants and a light blue sweater. I brushed my wet hair, and threw it up into an elastic band. Finally, I opened the door to meet my maker.

I made my way down to the kitchen where my father was sitting. He was at the table with the newspaper and a coffee. He didn't look as old as he did yesterday, and it relaxing to realize. The sleep must have rejuvenated his sense. He glanced up from the newspaper to give me a feeble smile.

"Hey kid," he spoke to me, "coffee's fresh" he pointed to the express maker by the stove. I nodded at him. There was already a mug next to it. I took the pot out of its holder and poured the black liquid into my cup, followed by a few heaping tablespoons of sugar and a small fortune of milk. I returned to sit across from him and took a sip. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, like we used to. The thought made a smile flash across my face.

"What are you thinking, Bells?" he asked me, setting his newspaper down. I don't remember ever talking to my father this much.

"Just how much I've really gotten to know about you since I came back." I answered honestly. "I really do enjoy these quiet mornings." I saw my father nodding at me, taking a gulp of his coffee.

"You have so much of me in you, Bella. You really are my daughter through and through," he replied, but I knew the conversation was far from over. "I just want to talk to you, now. I want you to listen and to not interrupt me, okay Bells?" he pleaded. I just stared at him, and dipped my head once. He cleared his throat and completely tensed up.

"We really are both the same person sometimes Bella. We both fell deeply in love with someone at a young age. I loved your mother with my entire heart. I was so happy when we were married, and every happier when you were born. I thought I had everything. A lovely wife and a beautiful baby girl, what else could a simple man like me want?

"I never realized when Renee started to become unhappy. I was too wrapped up into living my own personal dream. I was a deputy at the police department, and I was totally involved in work. I just assumed she was happy. It didn't hit me until she left that she was trying to tell me she wasn't happy." I looked up at my father, telling me about his side of failed marriage between him and my mother. I wanted to speak, but I promised him with my eyes that I wouldn't. I waited for him to regain his train of thought.

His eyes once again locked with mine, "I don't think I could of ever made her happy. We were too young, and she didn't realize that I wasn't what she wanted or needed. She needs to be constantly entertained, to feel young. I could never force myself into that kind of life. It would have worn me down and tore me apart.

"I love your mother, Bells. With all my heart and soul, I love her still," he overstated, but I knew it was the truth. I knew he never got over my mother. The two-decade-old pictures in the living room were proof enough of that. "I also know that you love Edward like I love your mother. I know that you will marry him, regardless of my opinion. I'm just scared for you Bella. You are not you're mother right now, you're me. I saw what it was like to see you lose him once. If this happens again it'll destroy you, and I'm afraid I won't be there to save you." He ended with fearful conviction. His whole being knew he was giving up his daughter, forever.

I stood up and slowly walked up to my father. I could see tears glistening behind his terrified smile. I placed my arms around his like I did last night, and squeezed him fully. "I love you, dad" I croaked, giving my feelings away. "Thank you for giving me your honesty," I told him staring deeply into his eyes, "would you believe me if I told you that I know Edward will never do that again, that I fully trust him with every cell in my being?" I questioned, not breaking the lock.

"I guess I really have no choice," he answered simply, breaking my gaze. I let him go and he stood up, and moved towards the front door. Grabbing his uniform hat and gun holster from the key rack, he gave me one last look before opening the door. I was afraid to ask him if that meant he was coming; I was afraid to sound to eager, that he might think that would give him some leverage if I sounded desperate for him to be there.

I tried to keep myself busy for the next couple minutes, before Edward showed up. I fixed myself some cereal for breakfast and cleaned up. Almost twenty minutes passed by before Edward showed up at door. I was almost getting panicked, until I heard the hum of the Volvo. When I turned around I felt Edwards icy hands around my face. "You look absolutely stunning" he said in earnest, kissing my neck. I let out a soft moan. I forgot that he made me nervous by not showing up right after, like he said he would.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he whispered, "I was taking to Alice." He told me, wrapping my arms around me. I was instantly curious.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He looked imploringly on me, "you didn't ask if my parents were going to come did you?" I didn't want to know, I rather it just me left undecided so I could hope. Edward looked like I slapped him.

He paused before me answered again, "I did." He answered, "but Alice didn't see anything. He's constantly changing his mind. But that wasn't the full reason I saw her anyway. I needed to know the weather in Florida this weekend." He finished. I felt my eyes widen. I was going to see Renee, and tell her in person. An anxious happiness flickered through me, but it stopped when I saw Edward's face keep still.

"No, I'm sorry Bella," he whispered in a soft, comforting voice, "There's going to be a really bad storm coming in, all flights are going to be cancelled from tonight to the end of the week."

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked. Edward simply nodded, "The storm isn't going to be as bad there, but Alice says the entire power grid will be out for a couple days, and it will make her extremely irritable, because she wont be able to send you constant emails." The thought almost made me smile. Edward gave me a chaste kiss before continuing. "She's at work right now, and will home at 2 PM, our time. She'll be in a good mood." He finished.

So I had a couple hours before I needed to put myself through another uncomfortable situation. I decided that I was going to use these quiet hours and this empty house to my advantage. I tilted my head up to Edward and kissed his cool, icy neck. I placed my arms around him and continued to hold him with an urgent ferocity. Edward pressed his lips against mine with an intense passion.

I felt Edward's hands holster me up and sit down in one of our kitchen chairs. I was on his lap and he held on to me tightly, kissing my neck, cheek and ear—every place but my lips. His hands were sensually wrapped around my back and his right hand was every slow slightly touching the skin of my lower back. It made me shiver, sending electricity all throughout my body.

I started to run my fingers through his bronze hair, trying to kiss his delightfully icy lips, but Edward continued to rebuff me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, but moreover I wanted to feel his tongue to trace my mouth, to taste my neck and body. My body started to hurt from the frustration of it all.

"Edward," I whimpered. I knew it was only going to be a couple of short months before we were married, and he would have to make up his side of the bargain, but it was entirely too frustrating. There was an uncomfortable sensation in my body that I couldn't describe. I'd never felt it before, but I was dying to be satisfied by him. Instead of continuing to please me, Edward typically froze up and stared at me. He flashed me a crooked smile. I wanted to be angry with him, but couldn't.

"So eager to undermine my self control," he chuckled. He stood up and set me down on the chair. I couldn't help but pout. "Our wedding is less than two months away my love. Please be patient, for me," he pleaded. I gave him a reluctant nod, but didn't move. My hands stayed crossed along my chest. Edward just even looked more pleased. His eyes danced, and he seemed elated.

"What are you so happy about?" I grumbled. I hated feeling like I was missing something. He just shook his head.

"You, and how you want me. You make me feel like I'm in heaven. Like it actually exists." He laughed, in his velvety smooth voice. I couldn't help but feel dazzled. "Now come on, my own personal heaven. You have a lot to do today." He said, ushering me to the door.

"What are we doing?" I asked him.

"_You _my love, have a date with Alice. She has some strict timelines and regiment planned for the next few weeks. Although, I think she's been planning this a lot longer than I realized. Probably longer than I planned on marrying you." He answered methodically. I wondered how long he had actually planned this engagement.

I shook off all these questions. I did want them answered, but I knew I had eternity to know. I smiled at him as he opened the door for me and cradled his left arm around me, guiding me out of the house and to the Volvo. I internally counted down the hours before speaking to my mother: five hours. Five hours with Alice, going over wedding details. It was going to be a long day.

Inside the Volvo, I played with the bracelet around my wrist. My mind flashed back to a comment Alice made a couple days ago outside the Cullen house. I flashed my face to Edward and he looked back at me, a questioning look in his eyes.

"What?" he asked me.

I pondered for a second if I should really ask, but I couldn't not know. It wasn't really important, but something in my needed to know. It was so trivial, but I had to question him. "Edward," I started breathing evenly, "what is the charm you gave me made of?"

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	3. The Price of Happiness

(**Forward**: Thank you everyone for your reviews. If you are a writer on FF, I'm sure you understand this, when I say that it keeps me going. Continuing with BPOV, but I have subtle plans for a future EPOV chapter. Possibly just as a bonus.

**Disclaimer**: I once again my confess that the brilliance of these characters, nor anything related has much to do about me. The real genius is that of the amazing Stephenie Meyer. Thank you again Mrs. Meyer.)

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_From Chapter II,_

_I internally counted down the hours before speaking to my mother: five hours. Five hours with Alice, going over wedding details. It was going to be a long day._

_Inside the Volvo, I played with the bracelet around my wrist. My mind flashed back to a comment Alice made a couple days ago outside the Cullen house. I flashed my face to Edward and he looked back at me, a questioning look in his eyes._

_"What?" he asked me._

_I pondered for a second if I should really ask, but I couldn't not know. It wasn't really important, but something in my needed to know. It was so trivial, but I had to question him. "Edward," I started breathing evenly, "what is the charm you gave me made of?"_

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Another Kind of Dawn

Chapter III

I looked over at Edward. His eyes were too focused on the road, and it made me question him even more. I wanted to just ask him, but instead I tried to be a little coyer. Part of me couldn't actually believe that Edward would put something so _breakable _on my wrist, but the other part knew that it wasn't glass or crystal. I just continued to talk – very casually – so Edward wouldn't know what I was thinking.

"Is it glass or crystal?" I asked. "I wonder what the difference is anyway?"

"Carbon." He said blankly, but there was a stir behind his eyes and his knuckles started to turn even whiter than they were already. I tried to play stupid, but we did both take science together, and I was that terrible of a student. I could feel my heart beat erratically, and so I knew Edward could too. Why did I even ask?

"You put a… diamond on _my_ wrist?" I practically shouted in his ear. "That is possibly the stupidest thing you've ever done Edward Cullen, and you're marrying me!"

"I put a diamond on your finger, and you were relative calm," he replied coyly.

"The only way that one's coming off is if someone cuts my finger off," I retorted, by face feeling red and flushed. Edward chuckled, his face now beaming.

"That's good to know," he smiled at me, that irresistible smile he knew make my heart jump. I was starting me become dazzled and it took everything in me to shake him off.

"That's besides the point Edward. The chain could fall off – the latch or something – or I could accidentally break it. It's too valuable for my clumsy wrists, and you know it." I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn't realize Edward had swerved off the road and put the car in park. His face was completely stone and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He took both my wrists in his hands with a frustrated strength, pulled me close to him and gave me an urgent, forceful kiss. My heart started to beat furiously and I knew I forgetting something. Right, breathing.

"Just compressed carbon," he whispered in ear, his hands still gripping mine with a remarkable intensity. I knew he was in control, but his whole actions seemed reckless and I felt nervous. "If I live until this earth is destroyed, this small molecular achievement," he pressed, one finger touching the diamond heart, "will never be as beautiful, stunning or brilliant as _you_, Bella. So, I don't want to hear one more word about this or anything other bauble or gift you_will_ get in the next millennia."

I just stared into his eyes; I was speechless. After I finally nodded, he loosened his grip on my wrist and kissed my left hand, then turned it over to press his lips on the underside of my wrist. The entire action made me shudder. It felt surprisingly erotic, and my heart temporarily stopped.

"None of that, Bella," Edward teased. He mood was suddenly light again, and it made me giddy. When Edward started off again, I turned the radio on and started to tune in the stations.

"No CDs you want to listen to?" he asked me, smiling. There was probably more than hundred CDs in this car, but sometimes you just want to listen to the radio.

I giggled, looking up at him. "Actually, I was just finding the country station!" I laughed at him, seeing the smile move to fear in lightning speed.

He started to put his hand up to the radio. "There is absolutely none of that country, hick music in the Volvo!" he stated in mock horror. I merely laughed and cruised the stations. Edward, lowered his right hand, but I could tell by the tension he was ready to dismantle his own stereo if one red neck song came on. Nothing really caught my ear, and then a song came on that I vaguely remembered and I couldn't change it. My fingers wouldn't press the scan button, but instead most back to my leg. My hand started to pat to the beat and the words started to come to me. I was completely involved in the song and nothing else in the world mattered. Edward looked at me peculiarly, "this sounds like country…." He started to say, but he stopped himself. I think he was trying to figure out what I was thinking, but I could barely make it out myself until it hit me, and I knew he saw the expression on my face.

"Bella, please" he begged me. I knew it hurt him that he didn't know what I was thinking, but I was too into the song.

"After," I promised. I turned up the song, and closed my eyes to sing along to it. It was surprisingly peaceful, and I felt it was the perfect song to listen to on a day like today. "_I remember we were driving, driving in your car. The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us, and your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder, and I had a feeling that I belonged, and I had a feeling I could be someone…_" I sang, not even self-conscious of my voice. Instead, I was remembering my mother holding me, singing that song to me. She would sing that song every night before putting me down to sleep. In retrospect she must have really, really hated Forks to sing me a song about getting away from her own personal hell as a lullaby. Then again, I don't think she really knew any other 'children's lullabies'.

Edward broke the silence between us, turning the radio down and smiling to me. "Okay, not all country is terrible. I actually kind of liked the song, the lyrics anyway," he stated. "Who's it by?"

"Tracy Chapman, 1988. And it's not 'country'. It's acoustic if anything." I retorted. I was still thinking about my mother. It started to feel like fate. "My mother used to sing it to me. A lot. Almost every night, actually. It's just seems right. It's about leaving, and giving up your past without any regrets, and feeling like it is the right thing to do." I said happily, and I really was happy.

Edward reached over and grabbed my hand. "And I've got a fast car." He replied, turning into the Cullen driveway. I saw Alice gracefully gliding out the front door and down the steps. It was only a second from the car being turned off and Edward opening the door for me. I took his hand in mine and stepped out. He tilted his head slightly and gave me a kiss on my cheek. My cheeks become cold and warm at the same time. I looked up at Edward and smiled.

"Alright you two," Alice piped in cheerfully. "I have four hours and twenty-eight minutes until you are free to come collect Bella." She took my hand and started for the door. Edward grabbed my other, and turned me back for a brief, but everlasting moment.

"I wont be gone lone, love," he promised. He pressed his icy lips against my warm hand and I felt sparks all the way down to my toes. The electricity was out of this world, and for that moment in front of the house, I wasn't anywhere in the world. A parallel world, where only Edward and I could go. I wasn't even fearful of spending four hours alone with Alice going over wedding details.

Edward gave one last look to me and then to Alice. "Please don't make this hard for me," he begged of Alice. Alice stifled a soft laugh, ripping me from the clutches of Edward. I mouthed 'I love you' as I was being dragged into the house, and from the car I could faintly hear Edward saying something along the lines of "you know I love you."

Alice spent the first hour or so going over an enormous scrapbook fill with wedding details. There were swatches of the dresses and tuxedos we were all going to wear so she could coordinate everything. The detailing of the invitations matched the lace of my gown. The colour theme of the wedding was to be set in pale gold and light blue. Everything looked gorgeous, and I told her so.

"Just one thing is missing, Bella. And I can't _see_ it!" she exclaimed, burying her head deep in her arms. I could tell she was frustrated, but I didn't know what it was.

I put my arm on her, "but everything looks absolutely perfect Alice," I conceded honestly. I didn't know what else to say. She just shook her head. I rarely saw Alice anything but poise.

"I don't know where!" she stated loudly, her voice full of frustration.

"Where what?"

"The venue," she explained. Then I realized that there weren't any pictures of places for the actual wedding in her colossal wedding planner. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't see the frustration of it all.

"I always just assumed we would be doing it here, at the Cullen home," I replied nonchalantly. I honestly didn't matter where it was going to be, but the house was gorgeous, as was the view and there was a lot of space for an outdoor reception.

Alice just shook her head at me. "At a place you'll live at for a couple of weeks, at most? Then possibly never see again. No, I can't have it here." She stated with an absolute certainty.

We both thought in silence for a few moments. Alice really was taking many precautions to make sure that everything was perfect. I couldn't help but he in awe of her. Then my thoughts went back to Edward and why I was doing this in the first place. I thought about his parents, although they've been dead a long time, how proud they should be of their son.

My thoughts continued to wander. I was thinking about other weddings, my parents—although I knew that one didn't work out. Neither did the church they married in either for that matter. It caught fire two years after my parents wedding. Lightning struck it during a storm and sent the entire church up in frames. I know it was morbid, but it made me smile. I wondered if the church Edward's parents married at was still standing, even though it has been a lot longer since they were—

"Bella, you genius!" She exasperated, leaving my thoughts cut short. I barely saw her jump up, because the next time I blinked she was at the computer printing off pictures from the Internet. There was no mistaking that she was ecstatic. I could see her vibrant grin from across the room, even without vampire vision. It only took a moment until she came back with pictures of one of the most beautiful cathedrals I've ever seen.

"How did you find this so fast?" I asked her in awe. "Were Edward's parents really married here?" I stared at the pictures, racing my fingers along the lines and arches of the building. I knew that my jaw was slightly ajar, but I couldn't help it. It looked like a fairy tale church. One were princes became kings.

"I saw it in a vision, you were going to tell me about it, and then I had the vision of you getting married to Edward there. It was easy, once I knew what I was looking for. Edward is going to be just elated. Really Bella, you are a gift from heaven. He's going to be so happy." Bella said, praising me with the brightest smile I've seen in ages. All previous frustration wiped clean from her face.

Then a thought occurred to me. The wedding is less than two months away, how can we book a wedding there, so close to the date? I was about to ask Alice, but when I looked up she was talking on her cell phone in her hushed vampire tones. I could hardly make out any words, they were so fast and low. I pretending to feign interested back in the photo album, but really I was just trying desperately to hear.

It only took a couple moments for my ears to catch fire. I heard numbers, "they'll want two hundred, but Rose should be able to swing them down to just a hundred," she whispered a little louder than usual. What did she mean? Parish fees perhaps, but I still felt uneasy. Normally, the Cullen family was not very conservation about money… unless they weren't just talking about two hundred dollars. My whole body started to feel queasy and nauseous. My palms were going sweaty, and the room was starting to spin.

"Bella…" Alice called out from somewhere. I didn't know where, maybe the other room. It would help if she came closer, or if the room would stop turning circles around me. "Bella!" she called again. This time a black-haired figure stood over me, touching my hair. I could faintly make out a laugh—not mine, before a small amount of water was splashed lightly across my face.

"Alice!" I groaned, taking a towel that was in her other hand. She was smiling just as bright as usual. She seemed almost amused. I patted my face dry and looked up at her.

She sat down beside me, taking the dampened towel back. "You fainted, Bells," She stated matter-a-factly. Then it dawned on me what she said moments before I blacked out. I jumped to my feet in alarm.

"You… you're…" I started to stammer incoherently. Alice just shook her head at me.

"Bella," she said, calmly as ever. "Some big shot Chicago lawyer already had the date booked for his daughter's wedding. Rosalie and Emmett are going over there to buy off lawyer for the day so you two can get married there. It'll work. I've seen it."

"But you said 'two hundred' Alice. And I'm sure you don't mean_single_ dollars!" I practically shouted. Alice shook her head at me. All this patronizing was making me very upset.

She sighed and looked directly into my eyes. "This has absolutely nothing to do with you Bella Swan," she remarked almost coldly. "We are going to do this for Edward. To make him happy and it will. You have no idea. So stop sulking about tiny amounts of money-- like it means anything --and just be content in the fact that this will make Edward the happiest being in history." She continued to stare me down, cold and angry. I felt like I was slapped across the face, like a child being scolded by her mother. I felt the same when Edward chastised me in the car earlier.

"I'm sorry," I said as truthfully I could. It was all I could muster. Alice nodded at me, and took my hand. She was smiling softly again, and the gnawing feeling deep within my stomach was starting to subside.

"We have another couple of hours, and I'm sure you are sick of wedding details. Plus, almost all of them are taken care of. You just need to sign off on the dinner menu and seating arrangements, and those can wait until we get confirmation back. So let's go downstairs, watch a movie… and I'll give you a pedicure!" She said brightly. I rolled my eyes, but I smiled and nodded. With my hand in hers, Alice made her way down the living room. "I bought a whole bunch romantic comedies to get us in the mood." She chirped, but I knew she was joking. At least I hoped so.

* * *

Chapter IV: Bella tells her mother, and Edward explains some other wedding night fears. Compromise anyone?

Other Footnotes

The song used in this chapter is called "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman. It was released in 1988, so it is fitting that Renée sang that to her. These are the full lyrics:

_You got a fast car  
I want a ticket to anywhere  
Maybe we make a deal  
Maybe together we can get somewhere  
Anyplace is better  
Starting from zero got nothing to lose  
Maybe well make something  
But me myself I got nothing to prove_

_You got a fast car  
And I got a plan to get us out of here  
I been working at the convenience store  
Managed to save just a little bit of money  
We wont have to drive too far_

_Just cross the border and into the city  
You and I can both get jobs  
And finally see what it means to be living  
You see my old mans got a problem_

_He live with the bottle thats the way it is  
He says his body's too old for working  
I say his body's too young to look like his  
My mama went off and left him  
She wanted more from life than he could give  
I said somebody's got to take care of him  
So I quit school and thats what I did_

_You got a fast car  
But is it fast enough so we can fly away  
We gotta make a decision  
We leave tonight or live and die this way  
_

_I remember we were driving driving in your car  
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk  
City lights lay out before us  
And your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder  
And I had a feeling that I belonged  
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone_

_You got a fast car  
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves  
You still ain't got a job  
And I work in a market as a checkout girl  
I know things will get better  
You'll find work and I'll get promoted  
Well move out of the shelter  
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs_

_You got a fast car  
And I got a job that pays all our bills  
You stay out drinking late at the bar  
See more of your friends than you do of your kids  
Id always hoped for better  
Thought maybe together you and me would find it  
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere  
So take your fast car and keep on driving_

_You got a fast car  
But is it fast enough so you can fly away  
You gotta make a decision  
You leave tonight or live and die this way_

* * *

**The Church**

I really wanted it to be a church that actually existed. Not just now, but in the turn of the century. I wanted to believe that Mr. and Mrs. Mason were actually married there. That's when I found it. It's named St. Michael's Church. And it was built in the 1850's. It survived the great fires of the 1870's. I thought it was perfect. It's a central church in Old Town, Chicago. There was another gorgeous church where the construction started in 1899, but it wasn't finished until 1903 (Edward would be two) and I wouldn't think that Edward's parents were the kind to have a baby out of wedlock.

Sorry the footnotes are terribly long. Picture links to the church will be up on my profile page soon.


	4. Reassessing the Situation

_**FORWARD:**I'm sorry it took forever today. I had another project I was working on. A fan made trailer for Twilight! It's already up on YouTube. I have the web address on my profile, as websites are prohibited in actual submissions. My username is also Cantrys on YouTube._

_I'm also sorry for the first few readers who will get this in it's unpolished form. It's 1 AM here, and I work a 9 AM, so I don't have time to edit. Sorry dolls, but I'll get to it soon. Promise._

_** Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer is the most beautiful and talented writer I've ever read. If you want to thank someone, thank her. Without her, I'd be nowhere.**  
**_

* * *

* * *

_From Chapter III,_

_She sighed and looked directly into my eyes. "This has absolutely nothing to do with you Bella Swan," she remarked almost coldly. "We are going to do this for Edward. To make him happy and it will. You have no idea. So stop sulking about tiny amounts of money-- like it means anything --and just be content in the fact that this will make Edward the happiest being in history." She continued to stare me down, cold and angry. I felt like I was slapped across the face, like a child being scolded by her mother. I felt the same when Edward chastised me in the car earlier._

"_I'm sorry," I said as truthfully I could. It was all I could muster. Alice nodded at me, and took my hand. She was smiling softly again, and the gnawing feeling deep within my stomach was starting to subside._

"_We have another couple of hours, and I'm sure you are sick of wedding details. Plus, almost all of them are taken care of. You just need to sign off on the dinner menu and seating arrangements, and those can wait until we get confirmation back. So let's go downstairs, watch a movie… and I'll give you a pedicure!" She said brightly. I rolled my eyes, but I smiled and nodded. With my hand in hers, Alice made her way down the living room. "I bought a whole bunch romantic comedies to get us in the mood." She chirped, but I knew she was joking. At least I hoped so._

* * *

**Another Kind of Dawn**

Chapter Four

I spent the next hour and a half watching _A Little Princess_ on the couch with Rosalie and Alice. Alice seemed overly fascinated when I started crying over the sappy scenes, commenting my hilarious human emotions until I threw a pillow at her. Rosalie was pretty indifferent on either side. She definitely wasn't any more kind to me, but the edge of her frustration seemed duller. I was guessing she had given up on trying to convince me to stay human.

After the movie finished Edward walked through the front door and move swiftly to grasp me in his arms. The tears were still in my eyes, and he looked suspiciously to Alice who just shrugged her shoulders, trying to concentrate on something else.

"What's going on, Bella?" He said sternly, but with compassion wiping the last of the tears from my eyes. He looked to Alice once more with mild loathing. "What did you do to her?" he demanded, not letting me go. I started to flush with embarrassment, until I realized Alice must have been blocking her thoughts, and so he couldn't see I was tearing up from the sappy movie and not from her wedding torture.

I turned up to face him and smiled brightly, kissing his cheek lightly. "Alice didn't torture me, Edward. Actually she rented about a dozen classics for us to watch."

Edward still didn't look completely at ease, most likely because Alice was still blocking him. "What are you thinking?" I asked Alice, but instead Edward answered for her.

"She's reciting pi," he stated bleakly. "She's up to into five hundredth digit." Alice just started to giggle and went back to the couch, sitting down and picking up a pillow. Less than a second later the pillow made contact with my face, and I realized that she was saving the news for me. I thanked her with a slight nod and smile.

I grabbed Edward's arm tightly and tugged, getting his attention away from Alice's blocked mind. "Can I talk to you? Upstairs." I beckoned lightly. He bent down slightly and kissed me right behind the ear, taking in my smell.

"Of course," he replied, picking me up around the waist all intentions off bothering Alice. His eyes deepened into mine as he carried me up the stairs at vampire speed, leaving my breath behind. At that moment I had almost forgotten what I wanted to tell him. Instead I just wanted to run my hands through his bronze hair, braiding my fingers around the locks and press my lips on his. I didn't want to stop there, but I knew he would, although he did promise that he – we – would try after the wedding.

Edward placed me on his enormous bed, on top of the luxurious golden comforter. I crawled up to the very back and motioned him to follow me, flexing my index finger, pretending to be much more seductive than I knew I was. Edward crouched by the end of the bed, and his stance resembled that of a predator, like a lion. He let out a playful growl and pounced, just short of my feet. I let out a laugh and hit him with a soft down pillow. Edward retorted with an irresistible grin, tossing the pillow aside and grabbing my body.

He slipped one hand around my lower back and his other gripped the side of my face. He gave me another passionate kiss that didn't seem to end. My entire body shivered from the kiss, starting from right behind my lips and through every tip in my body. Even my fingernails seemed to tingle, and my heart was beating through my chest. I wanted him to never stop. My mind was screaming to have him continue to touch me, to move his hands a little higher up. I wanted him to lose his inhibitions. I could feel my cheeks burn from the very though of it all.

And then everything stopped, like it always did. Edward sighed, as usual, and removed his hands from around my body. It was almost painful for him to remove his hands away from me. I gave him my typical pout, but it was worse. Everything seemed intensified. I wasn't just unsatisfied—I was hurt physically. I needed him to continue to touch me.

"Please Edward?" I begged of him, "don't let me go." Edward stared deep into my eyes. They were liquid gold and piercing. He gave me a little smile, took my hand in his, and laid down beside me, not speaking. His slight touch seemed to subside some of the frustration, but I still felt so damn unsatisfied I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw a fit until he gave in. Only I knew he wouldn't. Damn moral vampire.

He didn't let go out of my eyes, but when I finally broke contact I noticed he had his cell phone in his other hand. "It's time," he told me. I let go of his hand of my own free will and sat up against the pillows. Was I ready to tell Renée? I knew I was nervous. She was my mother, and I knew that I might never see her again anyway. I might even forget about her, probably not completely, but enough that all this worry was severely overstated. I was doing this for them, ultimately.

I took the phone from hands and started to dial the number, only looking at him once. I thought about commenting about the long distance nature of the phone call, but I had enough money lectures today. Putting the phone up to my ear, I waited. Waited for my mother to answer. Waited to figure out what I was going to say.

She picked up on the second ring. For a second I didn't know where my voice was, I could hear my mother greeting me, but it took a second to answer her back. "Hey mom," was all I could croak out. I could tell even by telephone that she seemed suspicious of me. As Edward once said, she had a different view of the world. Simple, but insightful.

"Bella?" she implored, I could tell her voice seemed worried. I thought I might break down over the phone, but Edward grabbed my free hand and I felt a renewed strength. I remembered why I was phoning her and the promise to myself to remain mature and loving at all time to my parents until I leave them forever.

Feigning a cough I resumed talking about, "sorry about that, I had something in my throat." I was a terrible liar. "Anyway, I need you and Phil to book August 13th off. Actually, I would prefer if you would possibly book a couple days off before that too."

"Why?" Renée ask, "are you moving away to college that day? Do you need help?" she asked casually, not really catching the idea.

I shook my head, even though I knew she wouldn't have the slightest idea that I did. "No, mom." I then took the most exaggerated breath that I could. "Edward and I are getting married."

At first there was nothing. I could even hear my mother breathe on the other then. Then the sound of something dying. I could feel my face go into shock, trying to figure out the sounds on the other end of the phone. Edward too, looked questioning. It dawned on me after a couple seconds: my mother was laughing.

"Mom, I'm serious," I exhaled, and the laughing cut short. "Edward proposed, and I accepted."

"No," she stated abruptly. Why does everyone keep saying that? I wanted to scream at her and tell her she had no choice in the matter. I knew it wouldn't help. I knew I wanted her to be there more than I wanted to be right. "You're too young Bella. Don't be stupid."

I gripped Edward's hand tightly for support. I knew if I didn't that there was a good chance of me combusting right there. I took a couple deep breaths to recompose myself. "Mom. Edward and I are getting married August 13th. I would love for you to be there, but I'll understand if you don't come. I love you, but I'm not going to sit on the other line for hours while you tell me what a mistake I'm making.

"You who have known me my entire life. Seen the responsible choices that I've made. I've never done anything but been a good daughter and a good student. I know who I am and who I want to become. I know I'm making the right choice for me," I told her as calmly as I could.

"Bella…" my mother sighed in a desperate exhaustion, like Charlie. She took sounding broken, even though we've barely spoken in over a year. Her insight knew that she was about to lose her only daughter just as much as Charlie.

I forced myself to stay focused, even though I felt the tears build up behind my eyes. Shutting them back I tried to wrap up the conversation. "I really do love you mom. I'll call you soon. I promise."

There was more silence from my mother until finally responded with a solemn, "I love you too, Bella." She hung up first, and I realize I didn't even ask if she was going to be there. Something inside me pleaded to let that question die, that I didn't really want to know the answer to it.

I laid on Edward's bed for almost an hour, not speaking. I just let him wrap his marble arms around me. He ran his fingers through my hair absent-mindedly and kissed my cheek every few seconds. I was comforted by his touch, but also by how he knew I wasn't in the mood to explaining all the emotions going through my head.

My mind started to move from Renee to the wedding, even without thinking. Internally I was rehashing everything Alice and I went over. It must have taken Alice ages—at least weeks—to put everything together like she did. I laughed, knowing that I only agreed to her doing this wedding yesterday.

"What are you giggling about?" Edward asked me, turning my body over to face him. I looked up into his golden eyes and sighed. It was kind of funny after all.

"Your psychic sister," I stated automatically. "You should have seen all the work she's already down Edward! Well, you probably already have" I pointed to my forehead, really meaning his. Edward smiled his crooked smile, but shook his head.

"She did a lot of the organizing at night I think," he replied, "and during the day gave me some thoughts I'd rather not thinking about, so I would leave her head alone." He rolled his eyes at me, but it only made me more curious.

"What kind of thoughts?" I asked, my eyes wide. Edward just shook his head.

"Nothing I'd share aloud," he smirked. I could feel my curiosity bubbling. There were definitely suspicions, but I wanted him to confirm them for me.

"Not even to you future—" breathe, "wife?" I smiled coyly, biting my lip. Edward laughed, grabbing me at my sides and pulling me on top on him. My heart skipped a beat. I loved laying on top of his body, seeing his perfect frame. I felt like the lion instead of the lamb.

Edward pulled up on the bed so he was sitting up and I was still in his lap, no longer in control. "Like you need any encouragement," he scoffed, ignoring my question. He took my head in his hands and brought me to his face. At first he looked intently upon me, he golden eyes turning darker and more intense. He kissed my neck, tracing his lips along my edge of my collarbone. I shuddered as chills went all the way down my spine.

He then traced another line of kisses from my ear to my lips. I parted them slightly, letting him taste my mouth, but not quite enough for what I wanted to do. I knew Edward would never allow it. I started to kiss him back with force, pressing my lips on him with urgency. I wanted to make him as elated and euphoric as he was making me feel. Then I remembered the conversation that I had with Alice; I had completely forgotten.

"Edward," I panted slightly, I could hear my voice falter. It made him smiled. He paused, waiting for me to continue talking. "I forgot to tell you something," I continued, straightening up against my will. I partially hoped that this news would loosen him up. He would have stopped our kissing momentarily anyway; I could feel the intensity heating up.

"Alice and I found a venue for the wedding." I said finally, looking up at him. He was puzzled, so clearly Alice was able to maintain her mind block on Edward, even when we were lying silently earlier. "Is she not here?" I asked out of curiosity.

"No, she left a while ago. Rosalie left too, to find Emmett," he replied quickly, "So, where's this venue? Is that why Alice was keeping me out of head?"

"Yes, that's why," I replied. "She wanted me to be the person to tell you." I took another couple exaggerated breath. I didn't know why I was nervous. "Were getting married at St. Michael's church. In Chicago."

I waited for Edward's response. At first there was nothing, like I didn't say anything at all, and then the most dazzling grin spread across his face. He started to kiss me with a passion I had never felt before. When it finally dawned on him that we were going to be wed in the same church that his real parents were wed at, it just brought forth a part of Edward I rarely ever see. He seemed so carefree.

He crashed his lips into mine again, this time without the usual amount of restraint. He ran his hands up the small of my back, grabbing the fabric in his hands, and pulling me closer to his body. I could feel every icy inch of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and traced his lips with my tongue. He smelled so sweet that I wanted to _eat him. _

Edward turned me over so that I laid flat against the bed. He climbed over top of me like the predator he was and kissed me again. I still had myself locked around him. We continued to kiss and touch each other with an unusual amount of passion. I took this opportunity to try my hands at being a deviant fiancée.

Moving my grip from around his neck I started at the bottom of his shirt, taking each button and pushing them back through their holes. It wasn't up until the fourth button that I found my hands above my head, held in Edward's firm, unshakable grip. The whole action was so sensual, but his expression was cold and hard.

"Don't you dare," I warned, hiding my forthcoming bluff. "Or I won't marry you." I tried to make myself as serious as possible. I looked directly into Edward's eyes, they were almost onyx and I knew that he was fighting for control.

He stared at me. "Bella, please," he whispered. "We can't."

I immediately pushed him out of the way. He looked hurt, but I was almost too wrapped up in my own frustration to take notice. "What are you scared of, Edward? In less than two months, I'm going to be married to you. You promised to—"

"I promised after you married me," he retorted cutting me off. It angered me even more.

"And that's only two months from now!"

"Exactly," he stated, thinking he's won the argument.

I smiled back at him, playing with the last button I undid, but not going any further. "I'm not asking for that, Edward." I stated formally.

Edward's stance faltered. "What are you asking for then?"

"How can you be sure that you'll be able to do this in August, if you haven't even seen me with my shirt off!" I exclaimed. I waited for Edward to reply, but he didn't seem to have an answer, so I kept going. "The most we've done is kiss, without our tongues—god forbid—touch each other, with our clothes on—and no place that you'd feel uncomfortable about in the presence of my father, I should add. How can you promise me that we will try to have…sex, when you barely test your self control with something as little as me touching your bare chest." I left Edward speechless.

Wow I thought to myself. I never thought I'd have that much self-confidence talking to Edward about this. I never really had much practice. I knew that we were going to get married, but I still wasn't used to being so open about things like this; I never had anyone else to talk to before.

Edward still hadn't spoken. He was just looking down and I could tell he was at a loss for words. I think he knew if I heard one more 'Bella…please' I would probably snap. He looked up to face, solemn. "I don't know," was all he said.

I got up from the bed, pulling the strands of my hair straight and walked towards the door. I didn't want to be in the room anymore. Edward basically told me he knew he was going to fail on our wedding night. The whole room was starting to feel smaller, cramped.

"Bella," he whispered. "Wait."

"It's fine, Edward," I stammered. My voice cracking and giving me away, "I'm going to go get a drink."

I felt his hand take hold of my wrist, and he pulled me back to the bed. I tried to choke back the tears at the back of my eyes. His eyes were a dark colour, almost black. He wrapped his other arm around me, and I felt a hand touch the bare skin above my pants. Edward moved his other arm from my wrist to my face and kissed it with a reckless intensity. My legs started to shake, failing to support me.

I didn't know what to think of the moment, not until Edward did something so _un_-Edward it left me completely breathless. With both his arms he laid me back across the bed, taking my sweater in his hands. He started to push the sweater up, kissing my stomach with his icy cool lips, leaving my stomach to contract in a way it never did before.

"Maybe," Edward whispered in a velvety, but at the same time rough tone. "Maybe we could…compromise."

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Thanks everyone for reading and replying!

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	5. A Different Kind of Compromise

Forward: So I have a question I need to get across. During my work week, my writing time is severely hindered. I could probably squish out 200-500 words a day—at most. I would like to know if you'd prefer shorter, daily updates or longer updates but more time in between them. Thoughts, anyone?

And sooo sorry this took so long. I was so frustrated by this chapter. Truth is, I don't really want to get too lemony as I know Breaking Dawn wont be. I was thinking of adding my crazy OOC lemons for 'the big night' as a separate story so readers don't have to be like "Sera... this is sooo not like the rest of your writing"

The Usual Disclaimer Inserted Here (meaning that there's no copyright infringement intended, and I love Stephenie Meyer to bits).

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**_From Chapter IV_**

_I felt his hands take hold of my wrist, and he pulled me back to the bed. I tried to choke back the tears at the back of my eyes. His eyes were a dark colour, almost black. He wrapped his other arm around me, and I felt a hand touch the bare skin above my pants. Edward moved his other arm from my wrist to my face and kissed it with a reckless intensity. My legs started to shake, failing to support me. _

_I didn't know what to think of the moment, not until Edward did something so un-Edward it left me completely breathless. With both his arms he laid me back across the bed, taking my sweater in his hands. He started to push the sweater up, kissing my stomach with his icy cool lips, leaving my stomach to contract in a way it never did before._

_"Maybe," Edward whispered in a velvety, but at the same time rough tone. "Maybe we could…compromise."_

* * *

**Another Kind of Dawn**

_Chapter V -- A Different Kind of Compromise_

* * *

His eyes were pitch black, but they burned into me in a way they never did before. I could sense that he was hungry, but it was a very human hunger and it made me lose my breath. Edward crawled slightly up my body and parted my mouth with his icy cold fingers. I took an exaggerated gasp, my eyes wild and frenzied. "Remember, my love," he exhaled, his sweet breath stunning me slightly. I could barely manage a nod.

I wanted to run my hands over his cool, perfect frame. The urge to trace my lips over every part of his body was barely endurable. I needed to taste him, but instead I lay frozen his closeness. I knew he needed me to be calm and still. I knew I couldn't control my heart racing and sputtering, but I tried to stop my compulsion to touch him, to caress him, to grab his and kiss him with as much force as I could.

"Edward," I whispered out to him. He answered with his eyes. I took a rather large intake of air and started to ramble. "What sort of compromise are we talking about here? I kind of would like to know what to expect, so I know when you are going to pull away or something—I just don't want to be left disappointed, _please._"

I saw Edward lose some of his intensity as he looked at me, his eyes lightened slightly and he let out a slight groan. "Tell me what you want or expect."

He moved from his predatory position to lie beside me on the bed. His beautiful icy hands traced my jaw line from ear to chin and back. I could sense the longing and sincerity that lingered in his velvety tones. A part of me wanted to just forget about everything I just said and to just to get whatever he was willing to put forth, even if it was just a marble kiss on my neck. The other part of my mind was louder. I knew exactly what I wanted, but my mouth didn't expel the words. My nerves kept them trapped in my throat and it burned.

"Bella," he pleaded in the wake of my silence, the desperation to seek my thoughts were clear in his eyes. I knew it pained him that he couldn't know every thought that passed through my head. He locked his golden irises into mine until I answered. I didn't know if I could say it aloud.

Biting my lip, I fought for the courage to speak up for what I wanted—needed. "Second base?" I offered meekly, barely audible, but I knew that he heard me perfectly. Edward looked at me like a statue. Frozen. Contemplating.

"What is you definition of second base?" He asked cautiously. I immediately turned red. I just wanted to bury myself in the pillow. Why was this so hard to discuss? If I couldn't talk to him about it, was I really ready to go through with it? There were hundreds of questions like this running through my head as I tried to get the courage to respond.

Then something did click inside me. If I wanted to be taken seriously in this matter, if I really was going to marry him, to love him and to change myself to be with him—if I was going to make these hugely adult decisions, it was time to become an adult. I suddenly felt a wave of confidence run through me; I felt myself change suddenly in the realization that I wasn't a girl anymore.

"I want you to see me, Edward," I stated with authority. "I want you to see me without my shirt on, without my bra. I want you to touch me. I want to try to kiss you—French kiss you. I want all of this Edward, and I want it now." My tone was overly formal to him. I searched out his eyes and they were still and calm, as always. Then he rolled on to his back, closed his eyes and I could tell he was somewhat distressed. I knew that I was close to defeating him, and I used it.

"Don't you want this too?" I questioned him pointedly. "Don't you want me?" I knew that was below the belt and Edward responded accordingly.

With lightning speed he was back on top on me. His eyes burned black fire into mine. With one hand he took my wrists and held them above my head, his other hand was gripping my shirt with a reluctant intensity. I could sense a battle deep within him and I knew I should have been much more sympathetic to him, but the selfish nature was overpowering me. I didn't care that he was so strong that he could kill me in an instant by accident. I wanted him too much to let the thought even remotely bother me.

Edward started kissing me, his marble lips touching my ears and sent shivers of electricity and excitement all through my body. I molded myself into his perfect frame and kissed him back, enjoying how he smelled and how his skin tasted. He responded accordingly, his lips never parting from my body. They moved from my ear to my throat and then to my mouth. They paused there and my heart stopped and sputtered. He lets his hands down to hold my body closer to his, allowing me to explore every muscle of his arms and back with my own hands.

His lips touched mine and pressed a little harder. I could tell Edward was calculating, nervous. I tried not to be too sudden, but I wanted so desperately to open my mouth and let him in. It was almost painful. Slowly, I parted my lips slightly and kissed his upper lip. I could feel Edward wanting to freeze up, but he resisted and it made my heart race. It became even more difficult to control my own urges, but I knew if I wanted this then I would have to be very precise in all my actions.

I didn't move my lips from his for a second, allowing him to regain composure. Then I moved my lips and pressed them against his lower lip, taking it in with my teeth. I gauged Edward's reaction and he was still responding. Slowly, I wrapped my hands around the side of his face and continued to kiss his lips with my mouth open to him.

In a moment of lapsed judgement I tried to slip my tongue into his mouth and Edward froze, pushing back. "My teeth," he whispered desperately. Perhaps he was in as much pain as I was. I knew his teeth were razor sharp, enough to decapitate me without a second though if he so wanted. I just wanted to shake my head at him, tell him he wouldn't hurt me, but I didn't. Instead I just nodded. We just shared on of the most sensual kisses I ever had with him and I wasn't going to spoil it with my whining.

"Can we continue where we were before?"

He answered my question with his lips and with his own tongue. I gasped as he opened my mouth with his tongue, to continue the kiss we were sharing. His mouth moved urgently on mine. He took my own lips slightly into his with surprising force and at the same time a controlled gentleness. There wasn't a thought in my mind as he continued to play with my mouth in a way he never had before. My whole body started to heat up even though Edward had never felt more like framed ice. Every where our bodies touched created static charges.

Then I felt his hands. I could sense that my eyes were widening and my breath started to become very ragged. I even had to stop the kiss.

One hand was under my shirt, behind my back and under my bra. I could feel each of his cold fingers like they were molding to my back. It was mostly the shock of his actions. Even though I wanted to much for this to happen, I highly doubted that he would go this far today. I was already ecstatic that he allowed such an intimate kiss.

Edward became very controlled again. He slipped his hand back out from under my shirt and stared at me intently. I wanted to ask him if he was all right.

"Shh, my love," he responded sweetly, reading my expression more than my thoughts. "Please, be still."

I instantly froze up, but I could not control my heart. It raced and stopped like I had a heart murmur. I bit my lip slightly as I looked up on my Greek god of a fiancée. I knew everything he was doing was completely out of character, but I didn't care. I wanted him too much in this very moment to concern myself with his traditions and morality.

Edward closed his eyes to me, but his hands found the edge of my shirt. With an unconscious grace he peeled the layer of fabric from my skin and tossed it to the floor. He then moved his face close to mine, opened his eyes and kissed me again.

"That's not everything I asked," was all I could muster. I knew I was pushing it, but I couldn't help myself. Edward's opal eyes pierced mine. Everything in his mind was conflicting. He continued to stare deep into my eyes, but his right hand moved back to my back. My breathing became even more ragged as my eyes locked his, feeling his hands around the latch of my bra. In a instant it met my sweater lying forgotten on the floor.

Edward's gaze never left mine.

"That's not everything, Edward," I stated again. Edward pressed his face into my neck, tortured. I knew it was a torture of my own making, but I could stop. His arms were stretched above my head. Turning up slightly I could see that his knuckles were clenched and frustrated. Even his unnecessary breathing was exaggerated.

"_Please_, Bella," he begged of me, kissing my neck is frustration.

"Is it too much for you?"

"No," he answered, sounding completely genuine.

"Then what is it?"

Edward took a moment, regaining his self control and looked directly into my eyes, never down. "Not until we are married, okay?" he resigned. I shook my head at him.

"Edward, you are so medieval!" I grimaced, almost shouting. In bitter resentment I kissed him, pressing my body into his. I knew he could feel my warm body under his. I hoped that he couldn't resist me after feeling the warmth, excitement and electricity that our bodies created wherever parts of us connected.

He went into shock. I examined his face and body from what I could see. His expression was contorted. Anger, fury and surprise mixed with excitement and what I could only describe as arousal. I could see a conflict deeply rooted into his entire being.

I took his frozen state for what I could, kissing his neck with as much passion as I could muster. I traced my tongue along his clenched jaw. As long as we wasn't pushing me away, I wasn't going to give up. I moved my hands around his back and tucked them under shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his lower back.

Edward started to move. I thought he was going to push me away, but he didn't. His face still perplexed, fighting his instincts, he placed his left hand on my torso, right under my right breast. I knew he was fighting the urge to look—to devour.

"Touch me," I begged. Edward closed his eyes automatically. I knew everything I was asking of him tormented him as much as it excited him, but I was so selfish right now, I didn't care. Edward lifted his hand slower than I'd ever seen him. Every part of his body conflicted as he moved his hand onto my breast. He was still staring deep into my eyes as he did this, but then buried his head into my shoulder and collapsed on me as gently as he could.

He lay there for a long second not moving, but then he lifted his head and kissed my cheek and then neck. He was recklessly passionate and his never left my body. My hands began to move again too. They were no longer stationary against my chest. He traced my breast with his fingers, exploring a part of body he never touched before. He was extraordinary careful with his hands, but I could sense a hunger in them. Moreover I could sense the hunger in his life to taste a part of my body they haven't. So close to my heart.

He never looked at any part of my body but my face. Whenever he kissed the crook of my neck or my shoulder his eyes were hammered shut. It bothered my immensely. Normally I would have been relieved almost, that I didn't have to be self conscious of my body, but the new me – however temporary – wanted him to see me. I knew that he would look if I asked him… I already demanded too much.

"Edward?" I asked, trying to catch him off guard. I tried to make my voice sound concern, so his concentrate would break.

I was successful.

"Yes—Bella—love," he stammered. I used this moment of deliriousness to move swiftly as I could for a human, I pushed back from underneath him so my face and whole torso was facing him. He realized too late what I'd done.

His eyes went the darkest of blacks and his hands tensed up. He was a complete statue. Only I could really comprehend what was going on inside his mind—or perhaps I really couldn't. All I knew is that I did something completely dangerous and foolish.

I saw flickers of anger and contempt flash across his face when he looked at me, knowing that I tricked him, but I also saw an overwhelming desire to have me. I knew that he was struggling for control, but I wanted it to lapse. I wanted him so badly.

He closed his eyes at me. In a bitter instant he was off the bed and the sweater was at my chest. My mind could vaguely register Edward leaving the room, almost taking the door off when he slammed it shut. In less than a second from that point of no return I was alone. I wanted to curl up and cry. I wanted to run after him. I wanted to kick and scream. I did none.

Instead I settled for putting my shirt back on and listening to whatever was currently in Edward's stereo.

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	6. NTF

**[Forward:** Thanks everyone for all the support. I decided that I personally would prefer longer chapters, I need the detail. Short chapters leave me annoyed, so I couldn't do that to my readers.

This chapter also has a "Playlist" I created. They are songs I listened to while writing. I am going to post my playlist for the entire fanfic up on my profile.

**Playlist  
Nothing Special, **illScarlett  
**N.T.F.**, illScarlett  
**How Strong Do You Think I Am**, Alexz Johnson  
**Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades**, Brand New (I saw them live---they blew, but I still love the song)

**Disclaimer:** The usual (Stephenie Meyer is amazing and brilliant and this run on sentence could never do justice—all things Twilight are her creation).

* * *

_**From Chapter V:**_

_His eyes went the darkest of blacks and his hands tensed up. He was a complete statue. Only I could really comprehend what was going on inside his mind—or perhaps I really couldn't. All I knew is that I did something completely dangerous and foolish._

_I saw flickers of anger and contempt flash across his face when he looked at me, knowing that I tricked him, but I also saw an overwhelming desire to have me. I knew that he was struggling for control, but I wanted it to lapse. I wanted him so badly._

_He closed his eyes at me. In a bitter instant he was off the bed and the sweater was at my chest. My mind could vaguely register Edward leaving the room, almost taking the door off when he slammed it shut. In less than a second from that point of no return I was alone. I wanted to curl up and cry. I wanted to run after him. I wanted to kick and scream. I did none._

_Instead I settled for putting my shirt back on and listening to whatever was currently in Edward's stereo._

* * *

**Another Kind of Dawn**

_**Chapter VI - N.T.F.  
**_

I gave the small black button on his massive stereo equipment a quick flick and trolled back onto the oversized bed. Immediately the bass kicked in and my eardrums were subjected to some music from a genre I couldn't pin down. My hand started patting the comforter to the beat and I found myself becoming personally involved in the lyrics. _I'm sick and tired of everybody thinking they know what's best for me, and maybe, God wanted me to be nothing special. _The entire song seemed to scream out different aspects of my life that weren't falling together like how I wanted them to. Somehow that gave me peace. As the lyrics sang on I didn't forget what just happened, but the music allowed me to become detached for the moment and reflect.

I listened to the song in full with that peaceful detachment. I didn't even think about where Edward was; I was too busy attempting to sort out my emotions. I felt embarrassed for acting so impulsively, and being I was so quickly rejected. But there were other stronger feelings coursing through my nervous system: anger, hurt, frustration. Slowly I came to realize that I was more angry at him than I was at my own actions—even though I knew it was _my actions_ were the ones at fault for what he did.

My thoughts became so completely lost and disorganized I didn't even notice a small pixie like creature creep into the room. It wasn't until she shut off the blasting music that I took any attention to her. When I did, my face gazed over hers in wonder and apprehension. Her small features were strewn and serious. I could tell she definitely was not pleased at me. I didn't need to look at her crossed arms and pursed lips: her eyes said it all.

"Edward just left the house," she said calmly, but I could hear the edge to her voice. "He's quite angry with you."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I think he's more angry with himself."

"No, at you. Jasper could feel the waves of fury coming from him. It's definitely not self loathing."

Suddenly I was a little wary of her. "Why couldn't you have warned me about this? Then this wouldn't have happened. Did you ever think about that, Alice?"

Alice straightened up and gave me a stern look, clearly annoyed but also angry. She however seemed to direct the annoyance inward. "I knew you were going to say that, why--" she whispered almost inaudibly, shaking her head slightly. I saw her lips almost twitch, but she recomposed herself at the last second at looked back at me, calm again. "I can't see when the person is action irrationally, Bella. Whatever happened between you was decided at a last second—on a whim. I can't predict split second decisions."

"Sorry," I said automatically, knowing she was right.

Alice didn't quite relax after the apology, in fact, she seemed to tighten up even more. "I came to tell you something, Bella. It's serious." I could tell by her eyes that she wasn't kidding. I moved over on the bed to give her a little room to sit down.

She was on the bed before I looked over again. "Really, I am sorry Alice," I repeated softly. I didn't like hurting her feelings. Alice when she wasn't full spirit created a void in my world. My hand reached out for hers and she took it and held on with more force than I expected.

"Forget me," she begged, her voice beautiful, but coarse. "If you want to get married to Edward and be with him—stop whatever you are doing, now."

"What?" I shook my head, not understanding.

'I'm seeing a terrible fight coming on, Bella. And right now, it ends badly."

I could see anything. The world was starting to shift again, "but Edward said he wouldn't leave me." I stated blankly.

"He doesn't. You do. You two fight and you go to Jacob after. After that I don't see anything for obvious reasons, but when I search Edward—you're not there with him." I almost had to remind myself to breathe at Alice's words. We hadn't fought yet, I remembered. All I would have to do is figure out what it was about, and avoid the conversation until after I was married and changed. Seemed simple enough. Maybe I didn't even need to know what it was all about. Just apologize to Edward for whatever I did or said. That would be enough.

I smiled at Alice to show her that I was going to play fair and not start anything with Edward. I never thought that our little incident would incite so much potential damage. "Okay, all fixed?" I asked hopefully.

Alice closed her eyes for a second and looked back, solemn. "Nope.'

My eyes widened. "Why…how…" I couldn't understand what could be so big that I would ruin everything I ever wanted—an eternity with the love of my existence. "What is it even about?" I implored quietly. I was becoming quite scared.

"From what I gathered: sex," she answered bleakly. "I don't know what good I'll do by saying this. Bella, Edward doesn't want to try anything with you until after you are changed, but he's afraid to tell you. For good reason I should add. Turns out that's your one deal breaker. You two have pretty big blowup, and somehow you find yourself with Jacob. After that your future disappears indefinitely."

Parts of me didn't understand. I knew that being with Edward that close was the one human experience I didn't want to give up on. I just didn't know that it would actually tear us apart. Were my crazy teenage hormones going to drive Edward and I apart? The truth is, I didn't know. I wanted to say that, that was the most ridiculous notion I'd ever conceived, but it wasn't. Parts of my body, even fragments of my soul said that this was important.

"I'm a horrible person, Alice," I said. It had to be true. I wanted to scream and beat myself up. In the past fifteen minutes my body went from extremely excited to apathetic to terrified. I wanted to believe the very idea I'd leave Edward merely on the notion that we wouldn't try to have sex in my current condition just ludicrous—but it wasn't. And what was I doing with Jacob? I thought I cried that part out of me, but she was still there—Jacob's Bella. She was a hole in my heart that ached and longed whenever she thought I could hear her. She knew what I was doing with Jacob, even if the rest of me blocked her.

Alice gave my hand a slight squeeze. "I'll always be your sister, Bella." I couldn't look up into her eyes. I knew mine weren't to be trusted, and I didn't know if I could stand to look at the pain in hers. I could tell by her voice that she was still very doubtful that I was going to pull out of this. Edward and I were soul mates, and somehow I had to trust that I could figure this out. I needed to make a real compromise.

"I have to go." I stated. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I needed to think, and I needed to talk: to Edward.

"I know," was all she said, pulling me into a deep embrace. I felt her icy frame mould my body, like it was the last hug she was ever going to give me. I had to believe it wasn't, but I couldn't. I returned the hug as passionately as I could.

"I love you, Alice."

"I know. I love you too. You'll do the right thing."

"Do you know that?" I asked fiercely.

She shook her head, but smiled meekly. "A psychic can hope, right?"

I walked out of the room, leaving Alice on the bed behind me. I prayed it wasn't the last time I see her face. My feet could hardly walk down the hall. Each step was taken with considerable force. I hoped that I wouldn't have to encounter any other members of the family. I didn't know if I could face them.

Each step down the staircase was equally painful and almost suffocating. I knew my balance wasn't the best, but I had to get out of there as fast as I could. With all the strength left in me I bolted. I don't even remember closing the door.

I keep running out the door and into the forest, disregarding Edward's warning a long time ago to stay out. I knew I wasn't running very fast, not even for a human, but I was driven. Fear, anxiety and sheer panic were propelling me further into the woods. My world seemed to slip even farther from my feet.

I kept running. I never knew I even had that kind of endurance. Even when I tripped a little, or the branches scratched my legs and arms, I still kept on. I started to enjoy the lightheadedness, the muscles throbbing, the lactic acid screaming at me to stop. I didn't listen to any of my body's warning signs.

When there was no more ATP to burn, my legs collapsed over a large tree root, causing me to go face first into the ground. It was unusually soft when I landed. I knew I must have looked hideous. The thought made me laugh aloud, and it burned my dry throat. Before I was covered in the typical cliché of blood, sweat and tears, but now that was mixed with dirt, fallen leaves and burrs. I was a wreck, and it amused me. I almost started going into hysterics, but exhaustion and pain started to pull me into unconsciousness. For a while I tossed in-between the two states.

"Bella?" an angelic voice whispered. I don't know how much time had passed, or even where I was. The air was much colder than it was before and the ground did not feel as soft. "Bella?" The voice repeated, louder—more concerned. My eyes blinked twice and I saw a Greek god before me, his copper hair perfectly in place. I didn't want to speak. Surely if I was to open my mouth this illusion would disappear. He would leave—then I remember. He would stay-- I would leave. The mere thought was unbearable.

He repeated my name once more, but this time he was moving. I felt a blanket wrap around me, and I was in his arms. I could barely feel the coolness from his body, my whole body was too cold to really feel the contrast. For the sake of his sanity, I tried to say his name, but it came out as a mumble.

"Shh, love," he whispered to me, soothing me, "I'm not going anywhere."

I started to cry at his words, alarming him. It dawned on me that he didn't know—that Alice hadn't told him.

"Please Bella," he croaked through his velvet voice, "tell me what's wrong?" For the first time I wished that I could convey my thoughts to him. I could barely think of the conversation with Alice, but somehow I have to relay everything out loud. I didn't know if I had the courage to do that.

Edward picked me up with ease and started to walk, but slowly. At the same time he rubbed my legs and arms, trying to warm me up. My conscience started waking up a little more, but I was still exhausted. I was almost happy Edward held me and I didn't have to walk back. "How long have I been out here?"

"Five hours. You don't know how sick with worry I've been. I'm so sorry Bella."

"Sorry for what?"

"For leaving. For being angry. I couldn't control myself Bella. I had to leave. I went hunting for a couple hours, trying to think of other things…to get my mind off…well, when I came back and you weren't here. I knew you were in the forest, but Alice said to leave you alone. But the minutes turned into hours and you hadn't moved. That's when Alice said she was going to get you. Then we fought…I couldn't—can't understand why she wouldn't let me come. She blocked me vehemently the entire argument." Through my exhaustion I could make out the confusion in his voice. I didn't want to let him in on it. I was enjoying this broken moment too much, even if I was dirty and cold, but I knew I'd rather do this away from the rest of the Cullens' vampire hearing.

"Edward," I cut in. I looked up into his perfect gold eyes. They were even brighter now that they were fresh from the hunt. He looked back at me, his eyes beaming with so much love it hurt. It tore right through me. "I know why Alice wanted to get me. She had a vision."

His eyes continued to stare intently on me, but I found that he was no longer standing. I was still cradled in his arms, perfectly protected and no longer cold. Edward however was no sitting on a patch of grass between two large roots, under a large tree. He was patient for me to continue talking. I didn't want to however. I just wanted to sit with him like this forever.

"Alice had a vision that we would fight, and I would leave," I started. I wasn't prepared for this conversation. It was easier to talk of my death in the clearing forever ago than to hint as leaving Edward. He wasn't fooled however, but he didn't say anything, knowing I would continue talking.

I took the largest breath I could. I dragged it on for time sake. "She saw us fighting about sex Edward. You told me that you didn't want to make love until I was changed—not even make love, just be close actually. I guess the fight was enough for me to leave…I don't really know what happens, my future becomes lost."

"Jacob Black," he said automatically. "Do you sleep with him?" he asked quietly. My heart broke.

'Alice can't see that. You know that."

Edward looked at me—my eyes—"I know, but you know if you would have. Your heart knows." At that moment, tears starting pouring down my face. I couldn't look at him anymore.

"I want to say no," I pushed the words out through my tears.

"But you can't."

"No." I answered honestly, and it broke my heart even more. The tears didn't stop. The salt mixed with dirt stained Edward's clean sweater, but he still looked beautiful. He just held on tightly. One arm was wrapped around my shoulders, his other sat on top. His free hand moved the hair away from my face, rubbed my arms and grazed my cheeks.

We sat in silence for a while, broken only by my tears. I wasn't cold either, just tortured. Then he spoke, and I clung to every word. Our last moments. "Earlier… in the bedroom, you don't understand how beautiful you were. And how you wanted me. It was torturous. The entire time I was focusing on myself, just keeping myself together. Every time I moved a finger, I had to so careful. My entire body was fighting this terrible battle, and then you! Your face so elated, so trusting. I wanted so much to be in the moment, like yours. I was jealous that you could be and I couldn't. You were so quick to undo me, and how I wanted to be undone."

"I'm sorry," I cut in, but he put one of his cold fingers to my lips and smiled.

"No, you're not my love. And that's okay. I was angry for so many things. I was slipping control, and the hunger was taking over. Not the usual hunger—but the hunger to take you. And you were edging me on farther than what I would normally dare to do. I don't blame you for trying. I would have too, perhaps. You were driving me insane…and then that trick…" I wanted to slip in another apology, but Edward had a smile to his face, as if remembering. "You are the most dangerous creature on this planet."

"I've heard that before." I mumbled, and he kissed my cheek…and then my jaw line…then my neck. Somewhere in the past few moments, something had turned. "I… don't… understand."

Edward took my face in his free hand and bore his eyes onto mine. "You'd think that I'd let you go, given the chance?" he asked me. I didn't know what to say, but I noticed that he started to become very serious again.

"I just found lying unconscious, on the cold ground, in the middle of a forest-- with mild hypothermia. I didn't know why. Can you imagine what was going through my head? Alice giving me nothing to go on. And now this?" Edward looked sternly at me. I didn't know where he was going with his rant, it really made little sense to me. I looked at him for clarification. "I made the decision about getting close because I thought it was going to be the best thing in the end. I thought you'd be a little upset. Clearly I was wrong. I know I push things to the extreme. We both do really. I'm the one that is sorry my love, so deeply sorry."

I smiled at him, realizing that he was just recanting the statement, contradicting the vision.

"So it wasn't just that I was hideous neck down?" I asked coyly. I saw a devilish grin cross his face. He was giving me his crooked smile.

"So dangerous my love, so dangerous." Edward kissed me again, and again. It was still frigid outside, and his lips were cold marble against my skin, but it felt amazing. I briefly wondered how he could want to kiss me when I was so matted and dirty.

Edward seemed to intersect my thoughts when he stopped my thoughts, "you are so beautiful, even now."

"Yeah, yeah," I said. "I think that maybe, you should get me back. I want to shower before I go home."

"And Alice would probably like to see that the two of us are in fact intact…and together still."

"Always." I corrected with a smile, "and she probably already knows."

Edward laughed melodically. "Oh, most definitely," he said lightly, standing up in one fluid motion. I tucked my head into his chest as he started running. There wasn't anywhere else in the world I wanted to be.

* * *

Hope it was okay! Thanks everyone. 


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